If I can’t even make boiled eggs… (March Break Update)

Day Two of March Break. Yesterday, I reorganized one kitchen cupboard (3 shelves, now wiped and reordered), did 3 loads of laundry (though I didn’t fold yet, heh), took a short walk with the dog, and ate two sandwiches, promptly noticing corresponding bloatiness and discomfort.

So, I have started my morning by attempting to boil eggs for the first time in years. 

It is not going well.

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A few months ago, my husband kindly bought me these two little egg holder thingies that you’re supposed to use for boiling them without the shell. They’re visible in the pot where the yolk is peeking out. However, either the eggs I bought were too big or something else didn’t jive, because when I put them things together, I got whites all over. And the whites that ended up on the sides where I didn’t see / wipe have frothed up all over. Plus, I put in four regular eggs just to compare, and two or three of them cracked when I put them in the water, so here we go again — more froth. 

When they finished, they mostly appeared “normal”, but one of my cracked eggs came out with this disgusting long goopy white tail. It looks kind of like a ginormous sperm. Seriously, if this thing came out of the naughty parts of a beast, can you imagine the size of the beast? 

Now I remember why I ended up be someone who prefers toast (or waffles, or french toast, you know whatever I can get someone to make for me so it doesn’t end up burned or goopy) instead of someone who likes eggs. They’re just gross little things, aren’t they? I can’t eat them sunny-side up, they must be boiled or scrambled so they’re not slimy in any way. (BTW, the Sperm Egg shall go to the dog — I can’t even stomach the thought of eating that mutated thing.) 

Luckily I bought yogurt and a container of pre-cut fruit, plus we have bananas and cheese and apples. I shall try eating my successfully-boiled eggs (my daughter will be thrilled, she loves them), and see how that makes my belly feel later.

—–

I failed at boiling eggs.

These do NOT look appetizing. And they haven't even been opened yet.

These do NOT look appetizing. And they haven’t even been opened yet.

They’re edible, at least, but only to the dog, it seems. Maybe a taste I will have to re-acquire. Or I will have to keep boiling eggs until I get it right. 😦

Tried these no-peel egg holder thingies. The eggs boiled, true, BUT…ew.

Tried these no-peel egg holder thingies. The eggs boiled, true, BUT…ew.

It took all I had just to open this thing. I'm not normally squeamish -- but anything slimy or goopy and I want to bleach my hands.

It took all I had just to open this thing. I’m not normally squeamish — but anything slimy or goopy and I want to bleach my hands.

Those peel-free egg thingies have gone into the garbage. And my dog is smacking her chops in her den. I suppose for making egg salad this would be okay, but...

Those peel-free egg thingies have gone into the garbage. And my dog is smacking her chops in her den. I suppose for making egg salad this would be okay, but…

Now, here’s the thing. I hate wasting food. I went through enough years of being a hungry student, and studying things like the Holocaust, that I can’t stand throwing out anything that is perfectly worth eating. So I’ve had one of my gross boiled eggs already, and the rest will become an egg salad or something.

But I think I am one step closer to being a vegetarian, if only to avoid touching slime. Like failed boiled eggs. *shudder*

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2 thoughts on “If I can’t even make boiled eggs… (March Break Update)

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    Like

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