A long Saturday and Saturnight

Mixed bag today. Stayed up late again last night in an admittedly low-energy, low-yield effort to clean, then fought to wake up this morning to continue before my parents came. Darling hubby got up and took charge of it so I could rest a little longer. Lovely visit with my mom and dad, who brought nice gifts for the birthday boy-to-be, and also took Bridget for her skating lesson to help free us up for cleaning and whatnot. Was able to get a present that he wanted, loot bag stuff, and pick up fruit and meat trays for an early lunch. So a good morning all in all.

Then we went skiing. The air was bitter cold on the first run down the hill, but it improved after that, and the blue sky and sunshine was heartening. I had my music playing so I could swish and glide to the beat, enjoying the way my blades cut through and over the snow. The hour passed too quickly, but in it, I saw Bridget making excellent progress on her own ability to “pizza” down the hill.

Got home and my in-laws had called to say they were in town, checking in at their hotel. I had just enough time for a shower — well, actually, they arrived just as I was finishing up. Thankfully I’d thought to bring up clothing so I didn’t have to parade past them in a towel! What I didn’t manage — and rather wished I had — was a nap.

I rely on my naps to recharge myself in the afternoon. I am an advocate of the daily siesta in order to rejuvenate and be able to attack the world anew. I will admit to having used naps as a means of escape, and sometimes they’re connected to my depression. But when I’m mentally healthy, sometimes I just need that 20 minutes to an hour so I can function again, especially after a stressful week with late nights like this has been. I used to tell my children when they were younger, “Let mummy close her eyes for half an hour so I can be a better mommy for you.”

I didn’t get my post-ski nap. As a consequence, I could feel myself getting a bit snappish when I didn’t mean to be, although my mother-in-law either didn’t notice or understood that I was tired. Sneaking a shot of Bailey’s in the kitchen didn’t help either, but it was sufficiently naughty enough to get my adrenaline pumping a little and help me to smile for another forty minutes. My mother-in-law and her husband are very sweet and generous, but after this long week of exam marking and new courses and party planning (one boy out of the three party guests has stayed for overnight gaming and snacking), and after the rush of endorphins from skiing, I didn’t have my usual patience. I had to be reminded by a dear friend to breathe.

This is actually one of the reasons why I used to be afraid to exercise. I worried about feeling tired afterward and not being able to cope. I sometimes feel like I have too much body to haul around, that I’m too much for gravity and it’s too much effort to try. That’s mostly a skewed viewpoint coming from not enough rest, though, and not enough rest is one of my triggers. Is getting exercise helping me or not? If it leaves me tired and I don’t get sufficient sleep, I’m not sure.

Tomorrow the visiting continues, and there’s an extra ski lesson in the afternoon. We’ll bring Hubby’s mother and her husband to the ski chalet with us, where they can sit by a comfortable wood stove and maybe meet some other people, while the kids and I hit the slopes for an hour. Not sure what we’ll do after that — maybe a board game or two. I may have to excuse myself for that much-needed nap so I feel rested enough for work on Monday, though I hate doing that when guests are here.

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