An absent computer cord, an evening of skating, and a helping of parental guilt.

Left my computer cord at work, so this post is being composed on my iPhone.

I’d rather be typing on a keyboard. Oh, well. 

Had a small attack of the guilts tonight while watching our daughter in her skating show. I was sitting next to our teenager, who expressed a bit of jealousy and a wish that he had gotten involved in skating lessons this winter when I had first offered. So now he wants to try a month in the spring session, which I’m happy to provide. 

The guilt comes from not insisting that he continue the skating after his one year of lessons, when he was 7 or 8, or that I didn’t decide for him that he should be in lessons this winter. I think he would have enjoyed it. At the same time, Jack has karate twice a week and archery on Fridays, so his concern that he might end up doing too much — especially when we added skiing to the mix — was likely valid. On the other hand, he’s a very creative and highly expressive individual. He’s also waffled over going back into dance. 

Guilt, guilt, guilt . . . I don’t want him to be overwhelmed either, yet I want him to get involved with physical activities that he’ll enjoy and will add to his skill set. Bridget, too. But there were a few years when they were both small where I was barely keeping it together, let alone having enough energy to do activities. So I didn’t insist that he keep going in skating, or guitar lessons, and maybe I should have. 

I told him tonight, though, that it’s not too late to start. So hopefully he’ll give it another shot next month, and he says if he likes it, he’ll do skating next year. 

Or dance. 

I’m so tired . . . 

Meanwhile Bridget did very well. She’s made progress in leaps and bounds (mostly figuratively), and even helped the younger ones. So proud of her! 

I’ll try to post some video tomorrow, once I retrieve my damned computer cord.

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2 thoughts on “An absent computer cord, an evening of skating, and a helping of parental guilt.

  1. Caroline says:

    I hear ya on kid activities.
    My oldest was in dance the past 2 years but she wanted to quit, so this year she tried self defense class. After her attitude problem got worse I didn’t let her continue the next term. She’s still in piano lessons though and now wants to try swim lessons again.

    Meanwhile the little one is in dance and LOVING it, but I’m having her take a year off next year. She’s starting preschool next year and I don’t want her to get overwhelmed. Plus Mom needs a break!!!

    I feel no guilt though. 🙂

    Like

    • That’s for sure — when mine were younger (and hubby was away at school), I found it really hard to keep up with everything. And I don’t want either of them to feel overwhelmed. I know of some families who have their kids doing an activity every evening of the week, whether it’s doing something for two days and something else for three, and others whose kids get into an activity intensively, every day. I guess my thing is that Jack and Bridget won’t know what they’re capable of or what they like unless they try the thing first. Bridget has tried and quit baseball, soccer, karate, and dance, but she’s really enjoying skating and (after an effort) skiing, both downhill and cross-country. She didn’t give the other sports much of a chance, though. Jack has his brown belt in karate, has attempted guitar (I could have insisted he continue but that was during one of the years when hubby was away), and did one year of skating. He really enjoys soccer as well.

      I will admit that one reason why I feel badly about not keeping him in skating after that first year, and why I’m encouraging him now, is that I think it would be a good fit for him. He’s very creative and expressive. He’s also said that he’d like to get back into dance classes, but those might conflict too much with karate. Oh, and then there’s archery, too.

      The nice part, though, is that at this point, he can get himself to most of his activities, so the pressure is off of me to play chauffeur. And I kind of think that doing something almost every night could be beneficial for both of them. It’s better than sitting watching TV or gaming, encourages community involvement, keeps them from getting into trouble as they get more independent, and builds their work skills (and eventually, their resumes).

      I also think that in this community (and others), there’s a pressure on parents to get kids involved. It’s hard to ignore.

      At any rate, I’m just also really good at putting guilt on myself and overthinking everything. 😛

      Like

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