Me vs the Lawn

Today I attacked the back lawn. It really needed it. Kind of wish I could run into one of those Backyard Makeover crews.

Before the lawnmower quit on me (honestly, I can’t get it to turn on now [hold your dirty jokes] — the cord won’t pull) I got almost all of the first third done. And while I was working, I felt rather like the farmer in The Secret of Nimh heading toward Mrs. Brisby and her family. Here I am, the giant and her noisy hacking box, cutting down the flowers and slicing away the tall blades, watching the butterflies and beetles and God-knows what else scurrying away before me. Especially after I’d picked up the lumps of doggy poop that more than a few creatures were using as shelter and/or food.

I felt bad, people. Those poor things — all they wanted to was to be left in peace, and here I come, braaaaa (of course a gas mower doesn’t sound like a snowmobile but you get the drift) . . . I mean, the amount of grass I was taking down was like a hayfield. There could have been a while colony in there, a multigenerational civilization, and I was the Destroyer of the World.

Save yourselves! Females and larvae first! All exoskeletons and antennae to the tunnels!

Those scenes from Honey I Shrunk the Kids where the lawnmower blade almost sucks the smaller-than-ant-sized kids up and tosses them out . . .

Confession: when I see a cricket or a moth or butterfly or whatever in the path of the mower, I stop and move it out of the way. It’s incredibly annoying when the damned thing crawls/leaps/jumps/flutters back. And I am always tempted to go around the wildflowers. I should just pick them in advance, bring them in and put them in water.

Now imagine the guilt when I get to my weeding (IF I get to the weeding) and cutting back on the growth of the plants. Those damned raspberries, for example . . .

So. That’s next on the agenda: finishing the mowing (or getting the teen to do it, if I can get the mower to work), weed-whacking (if I can get that damned tool to work), and then the actual weeding. It would be nice to have the plots full of perennials and maybe some pretty annuals instead of the knee-high growth that’s currently there.

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