A handful of days

The last few expected packages are trickling in this week. The wheel has turned again and Solstice arrived, ushering in the official start of Winter, and all the inherent celebrations. I am managing a small dent in cleaning every day, a few tasks completed here and there — now that it’s been three days since my virus was beaten (hooray!), I don’t want to relapse. Haven’t celebrated Yule in the manner I wanted, but that’s par for the course. 

I did manage to walk with my dog this afternoon, though. It was lovely. The air was cold but mild, the snow responding by getting sticky, and I worked up a sweat. It would be nice if I could actually stick to a commitment of daily long walks with her.

It’s tough staying out of the pit this week. I could make a list of the things my brain wants to berate me about, the stuff that threatens to overwhelm me and bring me down. As it is, I’m managing to hover. That’s why I’m trying to focus on the little victories rather than massive strides in progress — those massive strides I wish for are just too much right now, too ambitious, and not achieving them will be more damaging than anything else. Sometimes it’s better to step back, regroup, and start again.

And yes, in that spirit, I unraveled my double-sided knitting square to start again. I think it’s going to go much more smoothly this time around. 

   
 
I figured out that every time I had taken out rows and gone back, putting the needle through the loops had resulted in some unappealing twists, making the rows and columns uneven and chaotic. This time is much better. Unfortunately, I had to cut the yarn when it knotted during the unraveling and winding process, but I think I will be able to just tuck those new knots away. 

Wish I could put this energy into working on the next novel.

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