I am so happy, I wanted to share with you the positives and general fabulousness of this moment.
I am stronger, in more ways than one. I feel terrific. I’m starting to fit back into clothes I’d given up on ever wearing again, and I’m going to spend some of my spring break taking in the pieces I bought this past fall.
I mean, look at the difference:
Another weigh-in this Saturday, and measurement, and then I think I will sign up for another session with my trainer. I have momentum and I want to keep going. I think this might be the healthiest I’ve been in a really long time.
But you know, part of the struggle in this has been with avoiding feelings of selfishness. I’ve redirected funds that realistically ought to have gone into the student loans I’m still paying off. Or into something for the house, or the car. Or the kids. So many different things that need doing. However, I realized partway through this that as much as I have to meet those obligations (and I am, slower than I originally planned), by going to the gym and getting a trainer, I’m investing in me. In my future. I spent most of my pre-teens and teen years and a lot of my twenties and thirties being a couch potato. That sedentary lifestyle is going to bite me in my formerly spreading arse in another five to ten years if I don’t make up for it now. So that’s what I’m doing. And yes, I know I’ve posted about this before, made efforts to get healthier and more active, done Weight Watchers, etc. I’ve learned that healthy means maintenance. I’ve also learned that it gets easier as the kids get older and more capable of looking after themselves.
And I’ve discovered that I really love going to the gym. Me, the kid who hated sweating and feeing out of breath and avoided physical activity at all costs. I love challenging my levels on the elliptical, and I feel empowered by the circuit training. As much as I feel guilty for not dedicating the money toward my loans (in the fall, I’d promised myself I would get the damned things paid off in a year – sigh), I’m worth this. All of it.
After all, we only get one chance at life, at least that we remember.