Righteous feelings

That’s what fuels so much of action — that belief, supported by experience and knowledge provided by others’ experiences, that what one is doing is the correct moral and ethical choice.

And I’ve wrestled with whether to say anything. Do I wade into this debate? There’s an inherent risk involved with adding my voice to the discourse. (Gosh, there’s a word I haven’t used since university . . .) My significant other has refrained from sharing his opinion on social media, feeling that it’s a waste of energy.

But to me, not contributing to the conversation suggests passive support rather than impassive neutrality. If I don’t say anything, I could be letting things stand and avoiding the problems of getting involved. Then the words of Holocaust survivor Elie Wiesel come back into my head:

We must take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented.

“Elie Wiesel Quotes.” BrainyQuote.com. BrainyMedia Inc, 2022. 28 January 2022. https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/elie_wiesel_163854

Feelings have been running high this week in Canada, what with a little less than 10% of the nation’s licensed truckers and their supporters heading to the national capital in a convoy of big rigs and personal vehicles to protest / insist on / lay siege to the federal government so vaccine mandates will be repealed, even though the pandemic isn’t over yet and health care workers, long-term care workers, essential workers, educators, and other valued contributors to the well-being and function of our society are burning out and have been running on empty for months or longer. Lots of social media posts proclaiming patriots are taking Canada back (from whom?) and denigrating the federal government leadership (again) and exaggerating the numbers of attendees (some of whom have vowed violence if their demands are not met).

Some, out of respect for free speech (actually called “Freedom of Expression” under Section 2b[b] of the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms), are willing to overlook the fact that organizers and participants in the movement are white supremacists, demonstrably racist, have incited and/or participated in violence against People of the Global Majority (otherwise known as BIPOC [Black, Indigenous, and People of Colour), in service of a greater perceived need: that of taking back their interpretation of freedom.

I find it interesting that we haven’t heard the participants acknowledge that they have already crossed hundreds and thousands of kilometres to get to Ottawa without meeting military resistance . . . without having to show papers at checkpoints . . . and maybe that’s part of their point — maybe some of them are worried about the act of proving vaccine status during a pandemic escalating into more authoritarian curtailing of movement in various ways.

It bothers me that the devotees of this freedom movement have not taken the steps to weed out those concerning individuals and groups (possibly because they need the money [American Republicans have been involved in funding this uprising, yes] and hey, numbers are numbers), that they haven’t bothered to clarify the numbers involved with clear tags or signage (is it because it’s more effective to keep people guessing and exaggerating participation?), and for heaven’s sakes, they haven’t even bothered to get the permits for their protest this weekend on Parliament Hill!

It seems to me that the participants are less interested in improving governance, and more focused on a) forgetting / ignoring that the pandemic is still happening, and b) setting in motion some kind of anarchy instead of upholding a respectable social contract.

The TruckerConvoytoOttawa claims to speak for me. They do not.

I have a voice. I’m using it.

I have family that has advised me to avoid controversial topics online. I’m not.

The participants in the convoy are deeply convinced that they are on the side of righteousness and determined to make changes that they believe will make the country better. But when you take their arguments apart, they don’t hold water.

I’m seeing people — groups and individuals — who have been and are continuing to experience extended levels of stress and uncertainty, connected to the pandemic but also to changes in global society at various levels. The world has altered, and it’s frightening to many. Wanting a return to some kind of recognizable “normalcy” and a more familiar (though unbalanced) power dynamic is a logical psychological response. The patience needed for coping and working through has run thin. Perhaps what we’re seeing is the process of grief for what was known being carried to extreme measures. Certainly we’re seeing the effects of cognitive dissonance and the Dunning-Kruger Effect, on full and painful display.

Patience and compassion can get us far. But how far, when intolerance becomes louder than kindness? Pretends to be kindness? Recalls symbols of oppression and evil and attempts to repurpose them in the guise of higher goals and social improvement?

The convoy participants claim to be uniting Canadian society, and suggest that news media and government officials are only seeking more division. I would argue that they are uniting certain factions, bringing together those who are scared and tired and in need of purpose, who may be lacking in certain levels of education and affected by intergenerational traumas — these are the same kinds of victims/survivors preyed on by leaders of other terrorist organizations convinced that they are in the right and seeking change by force.

So here is my voice. I feel for the participants of the convoy, how lost and afraid and in turmoil they must feel in order to take such drastic action to feel in control again. But they don’t speak for me. I don’t support their actions, though they are within their rights to some extent according to the Charter of Rights and Freedoms. I fervently hope that no-one gets hurt or worse in the national capital over the coming days.

Thank you for listening. Stay safe.

#TBT an amazing review

Good reviews really help bad days, especially when energy is low (not enough spoons) and the world is terrible. So here is one that, when I re-read it, definitely gives me a much-needed boost — RoloPolo Book Blog’s 2014 review of Blood and Fire: Book Two of the Talbot Trilogy:

***SPOILERS AHEAD***

Rating: 5/5 stars

Bloody. Crappin’. Hell. Tori L. Ridgewood pulls no punches with round two of The Talbot Trilogy and, in fact, she comes out swinging with some serious action, some serious character development and, one really exciting read. In all, Blood and Fire is a totally character-driven read that is complimented by an ever-evolving plot that is both intricate and interesting. Since you know how much I love characters, I’m going to hit you with a heavy dose of character analysis. Here we go . . . .

Andrea: still among the evil undead but there may be some hope for her. After some really ugly moments, Andrea seems to be one of the few vampires who is actually interested in fighting her new evil nature. Is there hope for her??

Charlotte: Whew!! After realizing her worst fear – the return of de Sade – Charlotte gets all kinds of angry and realizes that she and Rayvin have the ability to bring down the Big Bad. Charlotte really comes into her own in this installment and it is good to see her overcoming her fear and taking control.

Grant: not dead, not a vampire, still totally hot, newly wolfie and, totally embarrassed by having run away from Rayvin. Grant is on a mission and once he learns how to control his new shape shifting abilities he turns his anger and self-loathing toward revenge. de Sade is going down and Rayvin will be rescued.

Jason: still among the evil undead, still missing an eye and, more evil than ever before. Jason is a nasty, nasty vampire with all kinds of plans for total domination. To take over the world he has to build an army that is loyal to none other than Jason and take out de Sade. Jason is just crazy enough to think he can pull this off and he brings Hell with him in his attempt to take over the world. By far, one of the most loathsome characters dreamt up by Ridgewood.

Marcy: welcome to the fight you lovely, lovely woody creature. Marcy is an incredible fighter with the ability to cover her body with bark and branches; she can literally root herself to a position and use her branches to stake vampires at will. She has a smart mouth, a beautiful and totally capable partner and, a serious obsession with bringing down de Sade.

Rayvin: one totally pissed off, magic is on the fritz, knocked up witch!! If you thought Rayvin was mad at the end of book one, wait until you see her now. Essentially, de Sade rapes her on a regular basis, she can’t fight back thanks to a nasty little device de Sade implanted in her neck and, she has lost the one man she ever truly loved, Grant. But, there is no give in or give up in Rayvin and at every turn she does her best to combat de Sade and his evil minions.

de Sade: still the Big Bad and still bat-sh*t crazy with delusions of grandeur thrown in for funsies. de Sade is convinced he can sire a master race of hybrid vampire/witches and through them, he will rule the world. For the first time in his more than 300 years of “life” de Sade is making progress toward his ultimate goal. Though Charlotte is his ideal mate de Sade has settled for Rayvin. He is convincingly crazy, determined to the point of blindness and, indiscriminately cruel.

Siobhan: a GARGOYLE!!!!! Tori L. Ridgewood, you gave me a GARGOYLE!!!! Siobhan is badass, she is totally dedicated to Marcy and, she is wicked awesome in a fight. In her human form she is slight, sexy and totally consumed with her appearance. When she transforms she is tons of fun and she can fly. Though Siobhan seems a bit flighty (HA!) she is just as dedicated as Marcy to taking down de Sade.

Solomon: a snarky recluse who also happens to be an extremely accomplished wolf. Solomon is responsible for training Grant and though he is quite hesitant to leave his home he is also committed to helping Grant and his daughter. Not gonna give that secret away 🙂

As you might have guessed this ragtag group of humans, witches and supernatural eventually come together to put a serious whoop ass on de Sade and his gang of evil undead. The plan is beyond crazy and by the time everyone comes together they are facing more than just de Sade. Jason is on the rise and his army is bound and determined to please him and when the smoke finally clears not everyone is still standing and the allegiances that have been formed had my head spinning.

The Bottom Line: I am so damn pleased with this read! Blood and Fire shows no signs of slowing down and Tori L. Ridgewood has come to play!! This book starts off fast and doesn’t let up until the very end. New and exciting characters are introduced, the older characters are believably evolving and, the plot is thickening with each turn of the virtual page. Loyalties are tested and strengthened, love is challenged and, the strength (both emotional and physical) of all is put to the ultimate test. Ridgewood is a polished writer who puts out well-written, finely edited books that have a tendency to just drag you right on in and not let you go until the very end. I promise you, you won’t care about being sucked in and will probably be pissy about the end of the read 🙂 I am putting it out there right now, The Talbot Trilogy is shaping up to be one of my all-time favorites and something I feel comfortable labelling as a highly recommended read.

Link to the original review: https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/981129180?book_show_action=false

Buy Links: Blood and Fire is available from Melange Books in PDF, on KindleKoboNookSmashwords, and in paperback!

It’s been a Hump Day . . .

Where I am on this little blue rock, the sun rose on -40 C weather. January is a rough month, and Wednesdays are tough.

So let’s finish it off with some heat! A little tease from my favourite of the Talbot Trilogy, Blood and Fire, to wrap up Wednesday. . .

Buy Links: Blood and Fire is available from Melange Books in PDF, on KindleKoboNookSmashwords, and in paperback!

Kate’s Encounter is LIVE!

It’s short. It’s explicit. It’s creepy.

And it’s now available for download. 😀

Kate Elliot was warned not to stay alone in the Dark Lake North Museum after sunset. But she had a deadline to meet, and she knew ghosts weren’t real. So who — or what — is she encountering when the lights go out?

“‘Even a big tough firefighter?’ I teased, tugging at the fasteners on his coat.
‘Even a big tough fireman,’ he emphasized, kissing me.”

Kate’s Encounter is the exciting, chilling opening chapter in The Dark Lake Chronicles, a modern ghost story / urban fantasy / paranormal romance connecting to the steamy, highly praised Talbot Trilogy.


On a personal note . . . after a couple of emotional, difficult days, it feel so great to have put some refreshed, spicy, spooky words into the world again.

Next up will be drafting, revising, editing, and self-publishing Chapter Two: Coming for Kate, as well as continuing to promote the Talbot Trilogy — some of my favourite characters will be joining Kate from that series as her experiences get scarier. And . . . erm . . . hotter. <<insert smiling devil face>>

Okay, I’m just going to do it:

Here’s that link again!

Let’s Go Dewey Decimal!

As I wait for feedback from friends and beta readers on the revised, renewed version of the short story “Telltale Signs”, I’m contemplating using some spoons to tackle reorganizing my library.

Not all of these books are mine. A handful belong to my partner.

I’ve seen the pictures of books arranged by colour-coding (haven’t tried it), size (done that), and flipped around for a neutral look (are you kidding me??) . . .

Of course, reorganizing bookshelves also means cleaning up the stuff that’s collected in front of them . . .

I need the Dewey.

I need to know where to find what I’m looking for.

No more mixing fiction and non!

Aaaand at some point I need to replace certain bookshelves that were inexpensive and are therefore a bit weak . . .

Or arrange it so the bendy thin shelves are supported in the middle by taller volumes?

I am on the verge.

But I worry that if I pull all the books into a central space to sort them, that will take my available energy and then that is where they will remain . . .

And then there is regular / ongoing household kitchen mess.

And the pile of clean laundry needing sorting/folding/putting away/hanging up.

And forms to be filled out for stuff.

And another short read to draft.

And my daughter’s blanket to work on.

And 12:30 pm appointment to walk to.

In -30 C.

Now I’m contemplating rolling dice to see what I will do.

Theoretically just working on something from the list, 20 minutes max, monitoring my energy levels, is better than nothing. Incremental steps toward goal completion, etc.

What if I just search for and move around certain books from a specific genre?

Aaand now I am tired.

What would YOU do?

The Talbot Trilogy Universe is expanding!

Once upon a time, I wrote a short story for the Spellbound 2011 anthology. It was called “Telltale Signs”, and was the tale of young assistant curator Kate Elliott encountering the supernatural in the Dark Lake North Museum.

Spellbound 2011 ceased publication in 2017. Kate and her wonderful boyfriend Harley have been waiting patiently in my files ever since.

Now their story is taking on new life — or an afterlife — with a fresh title, some tweaks to the narrative, and a few other revisions to really round it out and connect it firmly to the adventures of Rayvin, Grant, Charlotte, Pike, Marcy, and Siobhan, only an hour and a half south in Talbot during the events of Crystal and Wand.

Updates on this renewed short read will be posted soon!

We got through Blue Monday!

High fives all around!

What music helped you get through this day? Did you have a favourite playlist?

I was looking back at the website I’d developed for the Talbot Trilogy https://thetalbottrilogy.com, and it still bothers me that I completely lost the soundtrack I’d put together while writing the finale novel, Crystal and Wand. An accident of irreversible deletion . . . or was it?

Yes. Yes, it totally was. I remember it all, now: somehow, the order of songs got mixed up in the file, and then there was a problem with the computer, etc., etc.

Should I try to recreate the playlist for Crystal and Wand? Start from scratch?

A vampire’s seduction . . .

He was dancing with her. 

She’d put on Charlotte’s golden ankh before leaving the house, the better not to lose it again, but whatever power it had held seemed to fade. It tinkled impotently against her silver pentacle as the vampire swept her in a circle and dipped her into a graceful arc over his leg. 

“You are so beautiful,” he cooed, his lips close to her ear. When he spoke in complete sentences, his accent was more pronounced, though she couldn’t place it beyond something Eastern European. She tilted her head back, trying to escape the smell of his breath. “Andrea will be so pleased you came to visit. We have much in common, you know, you and I. We can reach into the mind of another . . . touch the energy pulsing in a body . . . we’re very special.” 

Her heart was racing. He chuckled, moving his fingers to feel her pulse. Her arm twitched in response. The vampire ran his fingers, the nails filed now, along her skin. “I don’t need to feel, my darling. I can hear the rush of your blood quite clearly. But I enjoy the pleasures of the skin.” She felt cold lips on the sensitive skin inside her elbow and cried out, weakly. 

Rayvin was dizzy, falling. Her legs wouldn’t support her. 

He lowered her to the floor, gently, and ran his hand down her body. “Yes,” he whispered, his mouth close to her neck. “Andrea will be most pleased. Jason, too.” 

He left her side, and suddenly the room was brilliant with light, hurting her eyes. 

Author’s note: In this scene, our heroine Rayvin has arrived at the home of her best friend, Andrea, deeply worried about her welfare after some frighting visions — only to discover an unexpected houseguest. The character of the ruthless, malevolent, sexy vampire Malcolm de Sade was inspired by the performance of Goran Visnjic in Practical Magic (1998) and Richard Roxburgh in Van Helsing (2004).

Wind and Shadow: Book One of the Talbot Trilogy is available in print-on-demand, pdf, or as an e-book through these and other retailers:

Melange Books: https://melange-books.com/authors/torilridgewood/windandshadow.html

Lulu Bookstore: https://www.lulu.com/en/ca/shop/tori-l-ridgewood/wind-and-shadow-the-talbot-series-book-1/paperback/product-14m8qz7m.html?page=1&pageSize=4

Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/340100

Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00DYCH64Y/ref=dbs_a_def_rwt_hsch_vapi_taft_p1_i4

Staring at the saddle . . .

. . . warming up the pen

(or keyboard, actually…)

Dear blog, I didn’t forget about you.

Lovely readers, I didn’t forget about you, either.

But I did procrastinate. Spent a lot of time on parenting and passion projects — moved my family into a new house in winter 2018, completed a Professional Master of Education graduate degree in spring of that 2019, and until spring of 2020, I dedicated a lot of off-hours as a volunteer focused on refurbishing and re-opening the LaSalle Theatre. Throughout all of this, I was also battling personal challenges: generalized anxiety and a major depressive disorder that have plagued me since adolescence.

Some days, periods, years have been better. I joked about going into an existential professional crisis about my career as an educator after earning the PME. However, after noting the start of physical symptoms in late summer 2019, and having to go on medical leave in June 2020 — which turned into a long-term disability leave in February 2021 — and having done months and months of therapy, rest, daily walks in the spring and summer (it’s been too cold and difficult to walk on the snowy streets for me to get outside daily in the winter), medical appointments, rest, CBT, changes in my medication, and more rest, I am able to articulate the thought I’d always had about keeping busy and involved as a means of avoiding a confrontation with my mental illness / invisible disability and its accompanying chronic fatigue. If I kept busy with my passion projects, and active at work, it helped to keep the dark clouds at bay and made being tired all the time something of a logical byproduct. Sometimes. But the longer I avoided dealing with the problem, the more my resilience wore down. I now have a much better understanding of Bilbo’s metaphor of feeling thin, spread over too much.

Did the pandemic push me into my breakdown? Or was it always coming? Sometimes I think it was overdue, and I’d put it off months or even years after it should have started.

With all of this in mind, writing fresh fiction has not happened for me since 2017. And I really miss it. Plus between the day job, the volunteer work, and then being ill, I’ve lost the thread or beat of regularly promoting my published works. It’s time for that to change.

I’m not back in the saddle — not yet — but it’s in front of me. A bit battered, but not without some polish.

Oh, and my household now includes a cat. A third bearded dragon. Did I mention the second snake? And we are fostering a turtle for a friend who had a house fire. Plus we also have two guinea pigs.

I am moving forward. Expect to see some short reads this year, as my energy allows (at some point I’ll talk about how understanding spoon theory has helped me) and some brand refreshing (is that the right term?) for the Talbot Trilogy, my debut novel series. Best wishes and warmest regards as we journey further into 2022!

And please enjoy these pictures of the majority of our (my) menagerie! I have not included the snakes, out of consideration for those who are less comfortable with slithering creatures.